


To my sister

by DraftingPen



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 06:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13541700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DraftingPen/pseuds/DraftingPen
Summary: The journal entries in Percival's journal directed to his siblings, mostly Cassandra.





	1. Day  One

Dear Cass,  
You mean the absolute world to me,there is noone in our family who's supported me as fully as you have (though that is a low bar to reach), maybe it was because you were young and naive, but i'd like to believe I had someone on my side. If there is anything I truly regret in this lifetime it's running, I should have never ran away without you. Leaving you there to die, no , leaving your body there to rot. That's even worse.I knew what they had done to the others. I had seen what they'd done to our siblings, our family. Heard it as well. I was petrified, my cowardice always ended up overruling any other sense of judgement. Any moral compass I could look to for guidance.Thinking back it's one thing I hate about myself more than any other trait I carry, harsh, cold, and selfish. That's all it makes me, quick to run and nothing quick to trust.To put faith in.There's never enough to stay for. Yet,I was foolish to not consider, that you were and always have been the younger one. If I was scared,surely you had found yourself in the same position. In your fear you brung yourself to me and freed me, tossing all your own worry to the side, in hope of saving such a pathetic man. A pathetic excuse for a brother. And I, what did I do with my chance that you had given me? I let you die scared, I let you die alone. It's haunted me , the thought that not only such a terrible person could exist but that I was said person. Have I grown any? I can't say, as much as I regret everything I can't say I wouldn't do the same to anyone else, that I still don't find myself in favour of self preservation over the protection of others. It's sick isn't it? I don't want to live, and yet now I feel if I were to die i'd only waste the shot my family died for and so I would take others chances all the same. For what?A final chance at a taste of redemption? Find flaws in this thesis as much as you'd like, dear sister, I know you'd enjoy picking my logic apart. You always did. Yet you'll find I've already counted my own mistakes a million times over;at this point it'd be redundant to have anyone else repeat them back to me. I don't want to die the man that would hurt the one's he'd say he loves, I don't want to die a pathetic creature as that I was raised to be. I don't want to die a de Rolo, as there was only one good example of a de Rolo. And we all know what became of her, don't we? Either way, I'll see you as soon as fate takes me. Looking forward to it.  
Your Brother,  
Percival


	2. Day Two

Dear Cass,  
This is going to be a short entry, I'm awfully tired after the long trip we've taken. Still I feel the need to speak to you again, if this is getting to you in some way after all.Is it odd to continue writing to someone no longer alive and wondering still if they've received it?I suppose the answer should be a definite no for any sane man, but I have a feeling like you're with me sometimes, though I've forgotten how you looked. Though I've forgotten how we looked. Before all of this, when the image I could conjure of you didn't have arrows in her figure. I feel sick now, thanks for that. I'm sure that you wouldn't wish too much ill upon me , even after all of this. You were never cruel Cassie. You'd hate me for even writing that, but you know what they say, old habits die hard.  
Your Brother,  
Percival


End file.
